Comment Wall
Link to my Portfolio page can be obtained here. Thanks!
Introduction of a Hopeful Soon-To-Be Psychology Undergraduate Graduate
I'm a psychology/pre-pharmacy major. A lot of people think of therapists when they think of psych majors, but it is a very broad field with plenty of subfields (primarily based in research and statistics) of cognitive, industrial/organizational, forensic, neuro-, developmental, clinical, and social psychology (among others)! Some short-term goals are to graduate this May and attend pharmacy school. The best class I took last semester was my Spanish class because it was one of the last general education credits I needed where I can not really pick the course topic. The class was interesting and informative, but finally finishing it alleviated some stress. I have recently been reading Michelle Obama's recent book 'Becoming'. It is quite popular right now it seems and I received it as a Christmas gift. So far I love it! I've always been fascinated with her journey and hearing it from her words is lovely. I have a lot of favorite food, but my favorite food would
Hi Maya!
ReplyDeleteYour page was so easy to navigate. I really enjoyed your story of the crane. You really put effort into bringing out the details, providing the scene and environment, and ensuring that you keep the story you had intended. I really enjoyed reading it! I even love the image you provided at the beginning. I honestly began to imagine the crane as the yellow bird with a top hat! It was so cute and very fitting. It gives a good image to portray your story. It was so nice to hear the story with a positive ending as well. You did such a wonderful job in giving this story a different life! I truly cannot find anything for you to improve on here! You really hit the nail on the head with each detail, ensuring the story followed through, and correcting any errors along the way. Fables are really hard to retell and yours was just as interesting and sweet. I hope to read your later stories!
Hello there, Maya!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your story tonight! I really love that it had a happy ending, and I love the humanization of the animals. The whole thing seemed very "finding Nemo" to me, which I loved!! I really like your whole page because it has great pictures and it is easy to find everything. I really like the way you described the setting of the story... I really felt like I could see the zoo in my head. I think it is so interesting that the fish can be inside or outside, and I like that you explained the variation between the zoo-birds and regular birds. Not going to lie... when the crane showed up and I thought about how he wasn't from the zoo, I thought he was going to eat the fish and was just tricking them! So I was obviously very pleased with the happy ending and the fact that the fish really made it into the wild. I was also happy that the crane was a genuine character. I like how I could see parallels to the original story, and I like how descriptive your author's note was. Really good job with both stories, and with your entire portfolio!
Hey Maya, I really enjoyed your twist on this story! I agree with you, there is absolutely still a moral lesson here without having pain and suffering in the picture. You did an awesome job of shifting the message of the story from that of weariness and caution to that of trust and cunning. Replacing the crabs with a wise older fish was also a really clever way to allow the characters of the story to look after themselves as opposed to having to be rescued by the crab! I also thought your dialogue was well thought out and I could tell that you had taken the time to give each character their own unique voice. You have quite a knack for painting vivid scenes, I really enjoyed the way you depicted the lake through the crane's convincing argument. I also liked your choice to make the fish just moved to a new exhibit but I wonder if having them live in worse, almost unlivable conditions that we sometimes find in zoo's would make their relocation even more joyous an occasion. I only say this because from your description of their habitat it seems like there would be no reason to leave and that might give the older fish more incentive to trust the crane! I really enjoyed reading your story, I can't wait to read what you write next!
ReplyDeleteHi Maya! I'll start off by saying that I don't know if I am just missing it or you do not have a link to your comment wall on your pages. I looked at the home and the story about the crane I will be reading and I could not seem to find it. I would just fix that so someone can get to both from your site. Anyways. I'll get to the story now. I really enjoy the photo you chose for the header! The only fix I would make for that is, if you can, crop out the black on the sides? Other than that, I think it provides good-humored context to the story. The story is very good as well. I had read the jataka before, so I knew what was going on. I was surprised by the twist, but I might have dragged out the distrust by the older fish more since you don't really have that much of an ending with the changes you have made.
ReplyDeleteHi Maya,
ReplyDeleteJust checked out your website and really like the organization and cleanliness of it all. I try to have a similar theme with my own and I think it shows a little insight of how you are as a person. The story tabs were my favorite and I enjoyed how they looked similar. A couple things on your cover page… First think if you do not mind me suggesting is adding a little more to the cover page. You could add tabs on the cover page with pictures from the stories and make them clickable also that way. I would also look into maybe changing your cover page picture. I would either tie it into the overall theme of your two stories or Indian Epics. This way people know what your website entails and is inviting. And then the last thing is to maybe link your blog and or your comment page of your blog. The blog being added just adds another aspect to your site and keeps people engaged.
Hey Maya,
ReplyDeleteI liked your story "The Trustworthy Crane". I can see the effort you made to explain how the aquatic zoo was set up so that the crane and the fish were able to interact. I thought it was funny when the crane sold the story of lake by saying that there would be no humans to tap the glass while they sleep. If I were the fish, I would go too. I like how you changed the story to the crane being trustworthy and how one fish looked after all the other fish. The only I could say to add to this story is maybe a short snippet of the zookeeper's reactions after they see the fish are missing. Also there is a design feature that is not working for me. At the bottom of the page, there is a blank white box. I am not sure if it was a mistake or not. Just wanted to let you know!
Your classmate,
Joanna Yoon
Hi Maya! I liked reading your story; it was a great take on a classic! First, I'd like to say you have a great website. I love the way we can navigate to the stories. I feel like the way you chose was much better than the drop down tab. Great twist on taking the old hero out of the story! This is very creative and shows you have such a high level of writing! I wish I could write as good as you! Another great thing you do is have proper spacing for the story. It makes it very easy to follow along with what is going on. Some people's stories are too cluttered and you have no clue what is happening in the story! Once again, I really liked the way you looked at your story. I can't wait to read more of what you have written later in the semester!
ReplyDeleteHello again, Maya!
ReplyDeleteThis week, for project feedback, we are supposed to look closely at the images each person used for their different stories, and supply feedback based on their effectiveness. First of all, your entire website is unique and very nicely made!! I enjoy all of the colorful elements. When I first arrived at your website's homepage, I was totally drawn in by the cool pattern behind your title! I think one thing that might be useful here is to find an image that does have a similarly attractive color aesthetic, but pertains to the Indian epics or Indian culture (especially because it seems like your stories derive from the epics and Jataka tales). The other pictures you used for your stories are great! I like the cartoon cranes and I really love that you picked and Asian elephant and explained that for everyone! Great work!
Hi Maya,
ReplyDeleteI came back to your story because I loved your first one. This story was so interesting to read. I truly loved how detailed you made it. The dialogue between Bhima and Drona were so interesting and you really kept my attention the whole time. I like how you took a twist on it, it was actually really persuasive and I believed it! You did a great job of providing details and emphasizing the knowledge of Drona. It was very evident that he could not be outsmarted. Drona's anger shined at the end when you mentioned how Bhima had lied. This was a great story and I really enjoyed it! I like the images you include with your stories at the beginning, and your titles are just as fun. They make me really interested to see what you wrote! Your cow story was so adorable. I really loved the way you wrote it. You really subtly emphasized how important cows are, which is great! You are a wonderful writer! I really enjoyed both new stories.
Hey Maya,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your story called, "The Magical Cow". For your first paragraph, I think you should add a short snippet about how the grandmother lost her fortune. In the sentence, "Quickly he realized this cow was magical and the grandmother was aware of this." I think you meant to say that the grandmother was unaware of this. I liked how you kept most of the story similar to the original one such as the first merchant acting like the item that the grandmother had was of no value just so he could buy it for basically nothing. I like how to explained why you chose a cow instead of a golden bowl. It answered one of my questions. I like how you said that the grandmother felt that selling the cow was not only good for her but for others too since the merchant could travel, the cow could go out and heal more people. Overall, great story.
Your classmate,
Joanna
Hey Maya, first off, your stories are great! Your first one was very interesting and made me want to read this one even more because of it. I think your attention to detail regarding the conversation of Drona and Bhima was a nice touch because it makes it more interesting to read knowing there was more detail and thought put into it. The thought of the cow story as well was such a fun read, as it was not too serious but it still was enjoyable! I like your stories a lot because you organize it and structure them in a way that allows the reader to fly through them with ease and still know what is going on and actually enjoy it in the process! I think your imagery is nice as well and I am excited to possibly see and read another!
ReplyDeleteHi Maya!
ReplyDeleteI really love your portfolio! All of the pages were so easy to navigate, and the layout of each page was consistent and very apparent of what was most important. I love how the picture for each of your stories is so big and front and center. I think it's so cool to see what pictures people normally choose to associate with their stories. I love how your picture for "The Trustworthy Crane" is Crazylegs Crane- that is so clever! I also really loved your story "The Magical Cow." It is so sweet, and I love how you incorporated the cow instead of the bowl- also awesome job explaining the reasoning behind your stories in the author's note! The only thing I have to say is that your author's notes have SO much detail, which is good, but I think it would be beneficial to break them up into a couple of smaller paragraphs, especially if you're changing subjects! Overall, awesome job!
Hi Maya, I enjoyed reading through your short story, The Trustworthy Crane. I thought the story was easy to read, understand, and follow along. The Cunning Crane and the Crab is my favorite story from this semester and think many people in this class enjoyed reading it just because I have seen so many people re-create the story in their own twist. I also want to say that your portfolio looks great! I enjoy the simplicity of how it looks. I especially enjoy the same font and style for all your story titles. This helps to link all the stories together despite being different stories on their own. One critique I want to mention is updating your home page. This is not at all required but it just helps to make the website look more complete. I think you could add a little more information about your stories in the home page by just telling us what stories you wrote first and in what order. I also see that you dont have an overarching theme and that is totally fine because no theme at all could be your theme. If that makes any sense. All in all, I think your portfolio looks great and wanted to say I enjoyed reading through your stories. Good Luck with the rest of your semester!
ReplyDeleteHi hi Maya,,
ReplyDeleteI must say, I think your story "thumbless" is one of the best I've seen so far. the first thing that it gets right is efficient use of events. Many stories have events that simply further the plot, but this story has events that both furthers the plot and characterizes Drona and Eklavya. I can immediately tell that Drona is a manipulative, condescending, arrogant, and sadistic monster with a concerning lack of empathy and a disturbing shamelessness in exerting influence over others. Eklavya on the other hand is obviously the victim here, but also a bit self-deluded and idolizing towards Drona. It's also great how obvious how denying and desperate Eklavya is. Choosing to start with Eklavya's thumb already gone is also a pretty good choice, can't say exactly why, but it is. The first person perspective was also an excellent choice, again, it helps us understand Eklavya, while still letting us see the kind of person Drona is. Good job, seriously.
Hi Maya, I really enjoyed reading all of your short stories! I liked how uniquely titled they all were and very easy to navigate around. Out of all your stories, I really enjoyed The Magical Cow story. I really loved how detailed you were in your story and provided a good understanding. I liked the main idea of the story where it involved the merchant becoming greedy and karma in the end. I really do no like people who try to rip others off because they are not simply knowledgable in that area, but that is how business is. I also enjoyed the dialogues you have provided in this story to make this feel more realistic and understandable. I felt like I could relate better with the characters with dialogue. Overall, I think you did a fantastic job creating your story.
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